Greetings, Earthlings… and any tentacled, green-skinned, or shape-shifting visitors reading this on your cloaked ship’s browser.
You traveled 47 billion light-years, folded space-time like origami, and finally landed in Tulsa, Oklahoma (because of course you did — best BBQ in the quadrant).
Now your ship’s computer is throwing a BSOD'S (Blue Screen of Death Star) and the self-destruct countdown just hit T-minus 45 minutes.
Who you gonna call?
Not Ghostbusters.
**Fireytech – 918-258-FIRE (3473)**
We do **on-site saucer calls**. Just beam us your coordinates (or the we'll meet you in cornfield in Broken Arrow) and we’ll roll up in our totally-not-a-black-van van.
Our technicians are fully cleared for:
- Removing intergalactic malware (looking at you, Ensign Klik’Tak who visited “EarthGirlsEasy.xxx”)
- Upgrading from Windows 7 to Windows 11 before the Vogons show up with poetry
- Explaining in plain English (or fluent Klingon) why you shouldn’t download “Free Latinum Generator 2025.exe”
- Strengthening firewalls to Vibranium levels (Predator Anti-Virus + Common Sense patch highly recommended)
- Disabling that annoying “Tractor Beam needs Adobe Flash update” pop-up forever
We promise:
- No probing (of any kind)
- Zero copying of your planetary-invasion plans (we’re still catching up on Netflix)
- We won’t laugh when your “superior intellect” fell for the Nigerian Prince from Alpha Centauri scam
- If time travel is available, we’ll just go back five minutes and slap the six-fingered claw that clicked the bad link
Bonus services for extraterrestrial clients:
- Replace dial-up modem with fiber (yes, even in your 1950s-style saucer)
- Teach the hive-mind why individual Google Calendar invites are more efficient than telepathic group chat
- Politely decline the Borg’s collective LinkedIn request (again)
Since 1997 we’ve kept Tulsa’s computers running — and we’re ready to keep the galaxy’s running too.
Because even god-like beings deserve a tech that shows up on time, fixes it right the first time, and doesn’t overcharge for “quantum flux capacitor cleaning.”
**Fireytech: Because nobody wants human extinction over a simple driver update.**
Call 918-258-FIRE (3473) or beam to https://www.fireytech.com
(We also accept payment in dilithium crystals or unobtainium. Cash is fine too.)
Live long and prosper… or at least don’t get assimilated before we get there.
#Fireytech #OnSiteComputerRepair #TulsaIT #AlienApproved #ResistanceIsFutileButOurRatesAreReasonable